I Chose to Believe

               I will continue to put my faith in God.  I do not understand why my life has taken the path it has, however, I will believe.  At the beginning of 2008, I had such high expections for the years to come.  I was graduating in May, I was going to begin my teaching career, and I was planning on starting my family.
              All of that changed in one night with one event.  I came home from my friends house with every intention of just curling up in bed and going to sleep.  Instead, I couldn't unwind and I decided to clean a little.  Then, in the blink of an eye, there was a man in my house demanding I do certain things or lose my life.  The hours that followed were and still are a blur on most accounts.  What I do know and I do remember, is that during the entire ordeal I was NEVER alone.  God was holding in me in His hands protecting me.  I know some of you reading this are thinking how can you even feel that way, but when I called out to God that night He answered.  I do not have sense memories of my attack.  When I reached breaking point and I said, "God I can't do this anymore, I can't take it any longer"; it was over. 
               I thought for a long time that my rape and the trial would be the hardest things I would ever have to face.  After all, everything about my life had changed.  My relationship with my husband, my friends, and my family were completely different.  Life will never return to how it was before that night. 
                God has other plans, however, plans I do not understand no matter how hard I try.  This past Tuesday, I attended the memorial service for my twin nieces who died at birth.  Their mother, my sister-in-law/best friend, is a very important person in my life.  This is the woman who responded first the night of my rape.  She flagged down police and stayed with me until my husband could get home.  I cannot express the pain and heartbreak that I felt as I watched her deliver Ava and Mackenzie.  This experience by far is more heart wrenching that my attack and this gets me back to where I started.  I will chose to believe that God is in control at all times.  I am starting this blog to share His impact of my life. 
I will chose to believe.
I KNOW His ways are better than mine.
I know everything that passes through my life goes through His hands first.
I know He will not and does not give us anything we cannot handle.  (However, I really wonder how much can I handle?  Has my family not been through enough without this?)
More importantly, I know that my Loving Father takes care of His children when they cannot take care of themselves.